Secret Santa
by Rayna Lissesul
Summary: Sometimes, the Earl really does take things too far. The /Noah Family/, celebrating /Christmas/? It wasn't even near Christmas time... Of course, no one's going to tell him 'no'; he's too damned scary. So, Tyki pulled out a name and got...


Baaaah, my first D .Gray -Man post, and it's mildly yaoi. XD I'm not much of a yaoi writer (for those of you who haven't read my work before, I'm usually a strictly heterosexual OC writer), but it's Christmas, and when Inuyoshie requested this I couldn't say no. Actually, that isn't accurate; I offered to do this, so I wouldn't have said no and, as consequence, retracted my offer, anyway. In fact, I rather enjoyed doing this~. I like being a b**** to characters, be they canon or my own.

So, as stated, this is a request and yaoi fic; the pairing is AllenxTyki, so if you don't like malexmale and/or this pairing, the 'Previous Page' button is in the upper left-hand corner of your Internet window.

If you do like this pairing, and happen to read it avidly, I hope I do you all proud, because I've never posted for D .Gray -Man before. ^.^'

Really, I've only ever posted one other male-on-male, and it was another canon-on-canon... But that makes me ask, does Szayel really even count as male? I mean, I know he said he "doesn't swing that way" and all, but that doesn't mean he's not a biological male who thinks of himself as a female and happens to view himself as a lesbian...

XD Okay, I've clearly been thinking on this too much, so let's move on:

Inuyoshie, this is your Christmas present~! I hope you enjoy it~!

(Oh, by the way, this will only make sense if you've read the latest release on MangaStream/whatever online manga readers you use.)

D .Gray -Man is owned by Katsura Hoshino, meaning it does not belong to me. I am in no way, shape, and/or form claiming to be the owner/creator of these concepts, though I do lay claim to any additional plot concepts/ideas that are original to this particular work of fiction. As such, I would appreciate fellow authors and readers to give credit where credit is due and not steal any of my characters(which doesn't really apply to this work) and/or concepts. Thank you, and have a pleasant day.

* * *

Sometimes, the Earl really does take things too far.

No. Really.

Like, further than usual.

Like that time he had insisted on taking Tyki and Road out Trick-or-Treating while they were in their Noah forms and he was in his usual 'Earl getup'.

Or like when he'd insisted on inviting several of the Black Orders higher-ups who were members of noble families to one of his galas, where the guest list also included Noah Family supporters along with regular human nobles who couldn't tell you how long a millennium was, let alone who the Millennium Earl was.

The Earl tended to do things like this when he was exceptionally bored, exceptionally happy… or exceptionally depressed. Anything to entertain himself with/liven the already gay mood/take his mind off of his problems was good by him, no matter how far it went.

Because, really, they all knew the only reason the Black Order still existed was because the Earl was using them for his entertainment… Well, that, and it beat having to travel the world, himself, to find Innocence.

The humans had gotten exceedingly good at doing that while he had his mind focused on 'more important' things (like organizing his hat collection), so why not let them keep doing it? It seemed to keep them happy and out of his face, and on the off chance the fabled Heart was actually in reach and not at the bottom of the ocean (please, don't let it be in the Challenger Deep or any other oceanic trench) under ten plus miles of ocean floor primordial ooze (where no one would _ever_ be able to find the damned thing), they could probably just find it for him.

Yes, the Earl really had gotten quite lazy and eccentric over the years…

But this, Tyki decided with a sigh, really took the cake.

"…We're doing…" "What, now?" David and Jasdero asked, one after the other, looking at the Earl flatly. Since they'd been 'reborn', they'd had much better control of their emotions, though they were still easy to annoy…

…Even the typically calm Cyril was annoyed by the Earl's latest bout of eccentricity, though, so Tyki supposed he couldn't blame them.

The Earl smiled at his children widely (as if he ever did anything _but_ smile when he wore his outfit), "We're going to be the Secret Santa's of several members of the Black Order~!"

Silence reined in at the dinner table of the Noah Family.

"…You fuckin' serious?" Tryde grumbled.

"Absolutely~!" The Earl gushed, "And don't swear at the table."

"…Do _they_ know we're going to be their 'Secret Santa's'?" Lulubell asked at length.

"Tee-hee, of course not, silly~." The Earl giggled, "That's why it's a _secret_."

There was a pause, then the air got tense and several opened their mouths.

"Now, before you all start—" The Earl started again, snickering when there were several groans, "The names of the chosen members are in that hat!" The large, permanently grinning man pointed to his 'hat of the day', resting upside down in the middle of the table, "All of you pass it around, pick a name, and think of something nice to do for the person you get~!" His tone then turned flat, "And I mean _nice_ nice. Not sadistic, at-the-expense-of-whoever-you-get nice."

Road dutifully leaned forward and grabbed the hat, reaching deep, deeeep down inside and fishing around.

Tyki watched her with is cheek propped up in his hand, mumbling as she pulled out a slip of paper, "…Isn't this a bit hypocritical of us? Celebrating a human religious holiday? It's not even Christma—"

"**Pick a name**."

The use of the Earl's 'Satan Voice'© made all remaining protests die and the hat circled the table quickly, each person there (the Earl included) pulling out a folded slip of paper.

When Tyki unfolded his paper and got a look at it, he decided that Noah hated him.

* * *

Allen glanced over listlessly when he heard footsteps.

He hadn't heard the door open, and that noise was hard to miss, even though the hinges were well oiled… Had someone been in the room this entire time? Great, then they'd heard him talking to himself as he'd argued with Neah. Just spectacular…

Of all of the people who stepped out of the shadows, Allen did _not_ expect to see Tyki Mikk. He was so stunned he couldn't even bring himself to move, say anything or even _look_ shocked.

But Timcampy was able to muster the energy for a reaction; the still massively swelled golem growled deeply in the back of his… throat? Body?

Either way, Tyki still sighed heavily and bopped the golden golem on the side with the bottle of liquor he was carrying, muttering as he cast the creature a glance, "Shut up, if I were here to hurt either of you, you'd be hurt."

"…You…" Allen muttered.

Tyki looked at Allen, blinking, then smiled dully and waved, "Yo."

"You… You BASTARD!"

Tyki blinked, his hand freezing in mid-wave as he stared at Allen in shock.

"WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Allen roared, "AFTER ALL YOU'VE DONE, WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT? I THINK NEAH MADE IT PRETTY CLEAR THAT HE _DOESN'T WANT TO COME BACK_, SO JUST GET OUT!"

"…You haven't seen any of them in a while, have you?"

Allen twitched, then ground his teeth and glared at Tyki heavily as the man sighed and plopped down across from him.

"Your friends, that is." Tyki went on, pulling the thin aluminum sheathing from around the top of the liquor bottle and starting to slowly remove the cork, "You've been locked down here for so long you can't remember how long ago the last battle was, and you haven't seen any of them since. And the ones who do come down here won't even talk to you about them, so you don't know what's going on."

"…Shut up." Allen muttered.

"You don't know if they're not being allowed to see you—"

"Shut up."

"Or if they just don't want to see you at all."

"Shut Up."

"Are they even trying to see you?"

"Shut up!"

"Or, most painful of all, do they believe the Earl's words over yours and think that you've been a Noah in the back of your mind all along? Do they really think that you've been playing along with Neah and using them to dethrone the Earl so you can—"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

The cork popped out of the bottle loudly and shot across the room, smacking the line of CROW talismans above Allen's head and bursting into flames as soon as it did. The remaining ashes rained down on Allen's head, speckling his white hair with black, but he didn't care; he just kept glaring at Tyki harshly, his eyes shining slightly with half-formed tears.

Tyki brought the neck of the bottle to his face and smelled the contents, swirling the liquid a bit before crossing his legs and leaning forward to offer the bottle, "Want some? It's a pretty good year. It'll help… you know, 'dull the pain' and all that."

"Feh." Allen sighed, rolling his eyes and muttering, "Like you care…"

"Actually, I do." When the boy raised a white/silver eyebrow at him, Tyki rolled his eyes, "Well, technically, I'm being _made_ to care."

"…What are you talking about?" Allen asked dully. How long would he have to stall the Noah before _someone_ noticed and came down?

"Can't tell ya." Tyki sighed, leaning back on one hand and taking a swig from the bottle, "Just know that I'm supposed to make you feel better… And, no, I'm not enjoying it."

Silence.

Tyki sighed. This wasn't any good… If he didn't get the kid to start talking and try to make him feel better, then he'd fail at being a Secret Santa and the Earl would eat his soul. Well, not literally. …Or would he…?

"So…" Tyki started awkwardly, "Uh… How are things going with that girl? Lenalee, was it? You two hitting it o—"

"I haven't seen her since before I ended up like this." Allen grumbled, looking away from Tyki with disinterest, "As you were so kind to point out."

Tyki's brow twitched and he pursed his lips. Well, hell, they weren't getting anywhere. He sighed heavily.

Allen glanced over at the man dully as he ambled to his feet, the boy's body tensing as the Noah walked over him and right passed the CROW talismans as if they were nothing.

"Hey, what are you—"

Ignoring Allen, Tyki pinched the boy's nose shut and made him open his mouth, tipping his head back and practically shoving the neck of the bottle of liquor down his throat.

Allen's eyes widened, tears gathering in the corners as he thrashed and clawed at Tyki's arm with his right hand, his left bound and held in place across his chest and to his right shoulder by yet another talisman.

By the time Tyki pulled back, Allen had been forced to drink more than half of the bottle and was feeling fairly lightheaded, both from oxygen deprivation and from inebriation. He probably had some of the liquor in his lungs, too…

Allen leaned forward and hacked, feeling like he was trying to cough up a lung, then looked up at Tyki with narrowed eyes, "What… the hell?"

"Feelin' drunk, yet?" Tyki asked uncaringly, taking a few large steps back and sitting again.

Allen just continued coughing.

Tyki watched him with a blank look on his face, wiping the mouth of the bottle off with his sleeve before taking another drink, himself. When Allen had recovered, the Noah pulled a pack of cards, seemingly out of nowhere, and shoved them in the boy's face, "Up for a game, Cardshark?"

Allen glanced up at him, then laughed and closed his eyes, lowering his head and shaking it.

A game… actually sounded nice.

* * *

Face flushed and hand shaking slightly, Allen hiccupped as he clamped his cards in his teeth, using his right hand to pick out the ones he wanted to discard and throwing them down.

Feeling a bit buzzed, himself, but hiding it a lot better than Allen, Tyki scooped up the disposed cards, dealing Allen a few more before he mixed them into the deck.

"Sho, the 'nly one who'sh been 'llowed to shee me ish K'mui, but th'v alwaysh got shom'ne wid 'em…" Allen slurred passed his cards, though the slurring carried on even after he took his cards out of his mouth, "'e'sh not allow'd t'talk t' me d'r'ctly… e'sh gotta talk _through_ shom'ne." Here, Allen rolled his eyes, "L'ke I cn't hear what K'mui shaid the firsht t'me."

"Mmm-hmm…" Tyki nodded, his brow twitching slightly. The kid had started talking once the liquor set in a bit, but not a damned thing he said made sense anymore. Who the hell was "K'mui" and how was his name properly pronounced? And why in the hell is every other thing this kid talks about related to food?

"'nd th' food'sh t'rrible."

Aaand there he went about food again.

"E'vn Tim wn't eat it…"

Tyki sighed and rolled his eyes, pulling out a cigarette.

Allen stared down at his hand groggily, blinking slowly. He was starting to get, if only a little, why his Master liked —no, _had_ liked— to drink his problems away. He was _fully aware_ of all of his problems, but for some reason… he couldn't seem to care.

…Or, at least, he thought he didn't care. The tears that dribbled down his face and onto his cards, though, made him do a double take at his emotions.

…Nope, he was pretty sure he didn't care. But he was still crying… what a conundrum.

"I miss them…" Allen managed to rasp without slurring. "Before all this happened, I was used to being alone, but now… I miss them. It… It's so lonely down here…"

Eh? He missed them? Lonely? When did that happen? He was still pretty damn sure he didn't give a damn at the moment.

Tyki was momentarily flabbergasted that a student of _Marian Cross'_ was a lightweight, but then he got over it and sighed.

So, the kid was lonely, huh? Well, that ended his probing for a good 'Secret Santa' gift. He just had to make the kid feel less lonely.

Tyki glanced in the general direction of the door.

And he had to do it soon, before someone came down to check on the kid.

As Allen continued crying into his cards, accidentally lowering them and showing Tyki his hand, the Noah stood and sauntered over to the kid, once again stepping over the CROW talismans as if they were nothing and sitting down beside Allen.

"More drink?" Tyki offered the bottle, mildly amused when Allen let him press the bottle to his lips and tip the liquor into his mouth, his amusement increasing when Allen drank it straight from the bottle in his hand.

As Allen drank, the Noah thought: How to make the kid feel less lonely in about fifteen– no, ten minutes? He'd been down there for a while, after all; Allen was probably overdue for a 'visitor'.

Tyki glanced around slowly, wracking his brain, before his eyes finally settled on the foil he had peeled off of the bottle of liquor. Attached to the foil was a spring of fake mistletoe…

Where in the hell the Earl had managed to find Christmas liquor at this time of the year, Tyki had no idea, but with Christmas on the mind, the mistletoe made Tyki think of one thing…

…And then he imagined doing that one thing with Allen and his eyebrow twitched.

Noah was laughing at him. The Earl would laugh at him, too, if he knew.

Tyki looked back down at Allen with a frown.

Well, really, physical contact was important for the human psyche; Tyki was always surprised how easily a kiss on the cheek could cheer up the depressed girls at the parties he'd gone to.

And… he supposed Allen did look a bit like a girl… And he was just drunk enough to not care, so…

When Allen found the mouth of the bottle he had been drinking from had suddenly become much softer, he wondered if he'd finally gotten so drunk his body was turning numb.

And then the soft 'mouth of the bottle' started moving against his lips, and he was pretty sure he was numb.

Still, it felt nice, so he moved his lips slightly in return.

That made the bottle chuckle…

…Wait… did bottles chuckle?

Allen opened his eyes to inspect this 'chuckling bottle', but the tears made his vision blurry and he couldn't see clearly. He could, though, make out someone hovering over him… And then there were arms wrapped around him, and he felt better.

Because he wasn't alone anymore.

Something that sounded like a small whimper bubbled up from Allen's throat and he numbly hugged whoever it was back, what he had been doing and who he had been with just five minutes before completely slipping his mind.

Tyki was highly amused by how easily and sloppily the kid responded.

He had to press Allen back against the corner he was in to keep him upright, and the CROW talisman burned against his neck and partway down his chest, but the Noah kept it up, cupping Allen's jaw with one hand and slowly running his other palm up the kid's waist and side.

As Allen's Noah-tanned face flushed (and not just from inebriation), Tyki got a bit more into his actions, nipping sharply at the boy's lips to make him gasp and slipping his tongue into his mouth once said lips were parted.

If _this_ didn't make the kid feel less lonely, Tyki was just gonna give up.

But it _did_ seem to be working; Allen was clutching at him with his one free arm desperately, and he wasn't crying or looking depressed anymore.

In fact, the boy looked absolutely euphoric; his cheekbones a darker color than the rest of his light umber face, lips parted, slightly swollen and glistening with saliva, head tipped back and eyelids almost completely shut with the sliver of his eyes that were left open glazed over, a few muscles in his neck quivering all the way down to his chest, which the tight white dress-like robe he had been forced to wear did nothing to hide…

Tyki was just responding to the warm tightening just above his groin, the hand he was palming Allen's side with slowly moving south, when…

…Allen passed out.

Tyki blinked, then pulled back and stared down at the boy wryly.

Lightweight.

The Noah sighed heavily and rolled his eyes, pulling away from Allen without preamble and standing. He grabbed the empty bottle of liquor, gathered up his cards and dusted them off, picked up the bit of aluminum trash from the top of the bottle and prepared to leave.

Then, he remembered the cork…

Tyki paused, glancing back at the flushed and passed out Allen.

He still had the ash from the cork in his hair.

The Noah contemplated for a moment, then walked back over to Allen and fondly ruffled his hair, brushing the ash aside.

This action soiled Tyki's gloves, though, which left him a bit miffed. He stared down at the streaks on his glove, then ran his forefinger down the bridge of Allen's nose, leaving a streak on _him_.

That done, Tyki turned and walked straight through the wall, a smirk on his face.

He felt triumphant.

* * *

"…You gave your Secret Santa recipient a _Magic 8 Ball_?" Tyki asked Road, stunned.

"No, I gave her an Affirmation Ball." Road corrected with a giggle, "I've noticed her before, and she always seems to be able to bring herself down…"

"…And what about you two!" Tyki turned on David and Jasdero, "What did you get your human?" Surely, he wasn't the only one who actually _worked_ to make their subject feel better.

"…We left—" "A bottle of Prozac—" "On his bathroom counter." David and Jasdero grumbled, playing with one another's hair, "He was such—" "An asshole—" "We thought some upper pills—" "Were appropriate."

Tyki twitched. No… He couldn't be the only one who had interacted with his human…

"…Lulubell…?"

"I slipped some sleeping pills into her brother's coffee." Lulubell didn't look up from her book as she answered, "A gave her the gift of some goddamned 'alone time'. Poor girl…"

"Oh~?" The Earl giggled, "I think our presents overlapped, Lulu… I found my recipient asleep, so I gave him a super fluffy pillow to rest his poor, tired head on~! And I also left him one of my personal hats." The Earl nodded seriously. Giving someone a hat was a big deal for him…

Though none of the other members of the Noah Family cared; most of them were doing small things to occupy their time, like reading, polishing weapons, playing chess…

Or, in Tyki's case, desperately trying to secure some small shred of evidence that he hadn't gone overboard with this goddamned 'Secret Santa' ordeal.

"Ah, Cryil~!" The Earl gushed suddenly, looking over with his wide grin, "What did you do for your recipient?"

Cyril smiled as he walked into the room, pulling off his top hat, "Well, I was at a bit of a loss for mine, since I honestly doubted mine would find any use for non-perishable worldly possessions… So I got him a sandwich."

Tyki's brow twitched.

A _sandwich_?

That was it; he'd obviously been tricked somehow!

Tyki turned on Cyril to take out his anger on him, only to freeze when he saw the rather… deviant smirk the man was giving him.

"Though I had to postpone my delivery…" Cyril drawled amusedly, walking further into the room and slipping off his overcoat, draping it across the table and setting his hat on it as he took a seat, "My recipient was… stuck in a room with another recipient, and this other recipient happened to be… _busy_ with his Secret Santa."

…Oh… shit…

"Tyki." Cyril started, smiling at Tyki widely, "Come play cards with me and a few of my friends tonight. They like taking advantage of the fact that I'm not so good, and I think having a contract player will work to my advantage…"

Tyki's brow twitched and he slapped on a sharp, 'amiable' smile, "Very well, Brother."

And now he was staring to get a hangover…

Allen Walker had _better_ be over his depression.

* * *

Allen blinked in dazed confusion and listened as an actually _kind of happy_ Leverier ranted.

He couldn't really pay attention to what the man was saying; the boy's head was throbbing and the world was spinning like a whirlpool.

The only thing Allen could keep thinking was…

…He wanted more liquor.

* * *

XD Cookies if you all can guess who Road, David/Jasdero, Lulubell, The Earl and Cyril were the Secret Santa's of~!


End file.
